Fishing with the Amateur

I'm currently living in northern VA, and exploring some of the public fisheries the region offers. Here you'll find a quasi-guide of northern VA's small-water largemouth and smallmouth bass fishing venues. I'll also ramble about my life in general.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

No Trespassing: Violators Will Be Shot

[This post isn't for the faint of heart]

It's late and I'm tired, but instead of sleeping I'm sitting at the computer. Why, you ask? I'm celebrating the 1 day anniversary of what may prove to be the most exciting event of the summer - for me at least. Yesterday evening, just after finishing dinner, I sat down to watch a violent movie. The fact that I chose We Were Soldiers, a film based on an actual battle from the Vietnam War, seemed to foreshadow the events that were to follow.

My grandparents and I have had some trouble with mice lately. It actually began last summer. Late on night Larry (my former roommate) and I heard a mouse making some obnoxious noises inside the wall. We stumbled across a mousetrap at work a few weeks later, and used it to silence the mouse soon afterwards. Well his buddies are still around. I'll occasionally hear them scurrying around in the wall, but they had been rather quiet lately. Then a visiting friend saw one run across the rafters in the furnace room. Finally, about a week ago I saw one run across the floor as I was watching a movie. That was the proverbial last straw.

With my grandparents' blessing I set two traps in the furnace room yesterday evening, and then sat down to my movie. Mel Gibson was interrupted by a loud snap. In no particular rush to dispose of a dead mouse, I waited a moment before reluctantly entering the furnace room. I brought along my spring-loaded airsoft pistol, which had been sitting next to me throughout the movie. (If another furry rodent were to surface during the movie, I wanted to be ready.)

Entering the furnace room, I flipped on the light and peered into the corner. Sure enough there was a mouse there, but he wasn't in the trap. He had somehow managed to spring the trap without getting caught, and was now sitting a few inches away from it looking confused. He didn't seem to mind the light, and he didn't seem to have seen me yet. Crouching behind a toy kitchen set for concealment, I quickly took aim and...pop. I missed; but the mouse didn't flinch. Pop. I missed again. This time he turned and looked in my direction, still confused. Knowing that I'd overshot him twice (putting the pellet in almost the exact same place no less), I thought it wise to correct my aim. Pop. Head shot.

The mouse now had the look of staggering fighter who's one punch away from being knocked out. But, instead of running (as I was expecting) he moved more like he was slowdancing. I quickly fired again. Another hit. After a couple of erratic hops, the mouse crawled behind a foam manikin head and went belly-up. He was down for good. The whole incident lasted fewer than 10 seconds.

It took a few more seconds for everything to sink in. I had just shot a mouse with an airsoft pistol! Not only did I hit it, I killed it! Before disposing of the body (and getting the blood stains out of the rug) I proudly recounted the story to my grandparents. My grandfather was impressed with my feat. My grandmother was horrified that I'd seen a mouse, but she didn't seem too impressed with the fact that I killed it. She said I tortured it. I don't think you can call that torture though. It wasn't like I was trying to shoot off his tail or something. I shot to kill.

Looking back, this event will probably rank among the coolest things I've ever done. It's right up there with my carp-killing adventures. That's right, I've killed carp using weapons ranging from a bow and arrow, to a spear, to a sheath knife. But those are stories for some other time. For now I'm happy to have the distinction of being the guy who sniped a mouse. Maybe next time I'll try using a firecracker...


At 7:27 PM, Blogger Learning to be Alone said...

Congratulations on your big kill... remind me to give you a call if I ever have problems with rodents. I still feel kind of bad for the mouse, though. Hey, can you kill beatles the same way? I have a real problem with beatles.

By the way, I haven't finished working out what kinds of animals I want. A dog or two would be nice - I definitely want a cat (because my own aim with guns of any sort is, um.. nonexistent at this point... which reminds me - remind me to tell you about my great aunt and her shooting escapades. They involve squirrels, and they're hilarious)... I also want a dairy cow or two and some chickens. Animals of that nature. So.. yeah. Have a good night.


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