Monday, June 20, 2005
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Why I Love Carp
Carp have to be my favorite fish. I mean, just look at them. What's not to love? The disgusting face with its nose in the mud, slime covered body, unnatural oversized-goldfish appearance. But wait, there's a lot more carp than their beautiful physique. Carp serve a noble purpose in the animal kingdom - they're vaccum cleaners. They grow to ginormous sizes eating dirt. Just to mix things up a little, they'll also chow down on the eggs of other fish species. This serves two purposes. First, they get to be so big they can't be preyed upon by anything else - save a poor few of the human species who actually like their taste. We do have a small class of vigilantes - or at least one of them - who see the death of a carp as a service to humanity. Such persons also pose a significant threat to the existence of the carp. Second, carp wreck the populations of other fish species in a system. This is truly a wonderful phenomenon. Over time our carp-infested waterways become more carp-infested. All those other fish - like bass and sunfish - that provide sport for countless anglers around the country start to disappear. In their place we have golden monstrocities.
This brings me to an important philosophical question. We know that God is all-good. We also see that there is absolutely nothing good about a carp. The only non-evil attribute they posses is the ability to swim faster than me, which isn't very hard. Thus, how can we rectify the goodness of God with the evil of carp? How can God have created something so useless and hideous as a carp. To me it seems that the only reasonable solution is that God didn't create carp. I believe that there is a way in which this solution can be made compatible with Catholic doctrine. As I said, God didn't create carp; instead, He created a beautiful fish - probably something similar to a bass - which rebelled against it's creator. The first carp made a free and conscious decision to reject the Creator, for which all subsequent carp were reduced to their present state. Carp could actually be very much like fallen angels, once beautiful and good, now "twisted and evil." To borrow an idea from a funny movie I don't recommend, "Carp are the devil." Think about it.